You really can change
‘Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ — Romans 12:2
‘People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.’ ― F. M. Alexander
One of the best selling books in history is Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s sold over 25 million copies, and sat at the top of the New York Times’ best-selling list for 5 years (James Clear).
One of the largest industries in the world is the wellness sector—including personal care, fitness and wellness tourism—which is projected to reach $8.5 billion this year (WifiTalents).
Another sector that’s rapidly growing is the digital detox industry, which is forecast to be valued at nearly $20 billion in 6 years’ time (Zion Market Research).
Behind these big numbers lies our latest obsession: habits.
The power of habits
A new study recently published in the Psychology and Health journal suggests that a lot of our daily behaviours are driven by habit rather than conscious decision-making.
Habits aren’t just things we do. They form the lives we live and the people we become.
If we have a vision of the kind of people we want to be, we have to put in place the practices, disciplines and routines that will help shape us into those kinds of people.
The trouble is, it’s so much easier to live passively.
Without realising it, we fall into and get stuck by habits that deform us—everyday practices that make us less like Jesus and draw us further away from the full life He made us for.
We scroll on our phones during every spare moment—and so we become distracted people.
We binge on food and drink—and so we become greedy people.
We fail to forgive others—and so we become angry people.
What we do consistently forms who we become eternally.
God’s grace and our effort
From the outset, it's really important to remember this: God alone starts and finishes our formation to become like Jesus.
He starts it: ‘For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast’ (Eph. 2:9).
He finishes it: ‘And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns’ (Phil. 1:16).
But unlike his work of salvation for us, He has enabled us to participate actively in His work of transformation in us.
As the pastor Dallas Willard writes, the opposite of grace isn't effort—it's earning. We can never earn God's grace, but we can choose to rely on it as we seek to become holy not only in name, but in nature.
I love this graph adapted from Ben Sternke's article—it really helps clarify the relationship between grace and effort in the Christian life:
Grace + no effort = passivism: We fail to respond to God's work within us, and so our formation never gets started (see Philippians 2:12–13).
Effort + earning = legalism and behaviourism: We try to earn God's favour and become like Him through our external actions, but our formation is only inauthentic and surface-level behaviour modification (see Luke 8:10–12).
No effort + earning = cynicism and shame: We believe that we must earn our way into God's favour but feel powerless to do so, leading to anxious and ashamed inaction (see Matthew 25:24–26).
But grace + effort = fruitful life in the Holy Spirit.
God's grace empowers us to respond with the effort to become like Him. He gives us the desire, the strength and the humility to do His will, so that we can step fully into experiencing life in His Kingdom.
Instead of being a dull and difficult duty to perform, becoming like God happens in active, living and loving relationship with all three of His Persons:
The Father chooses us to become like the Son (Romans 8:29).
The Son enables us to have life in the Spirit like Him, and shows us what this life looks like (Romans 8:10).
The Holy Spirit empowers us to apply our effort so that we can participate in this life (Galatians 5:22–25).
But how do we actually do this in our everyday lives?
Training in holiness
Rather than trying to become like Jesus through our own efforts, we must train ourselves in the grace and power of the Holy Spirit (1 Timothy 4:7–9).
And the way we do this is through 'spiritual practices' or 'holy habits'.
These include practising silence, solitude, fasting, simplicity, meditating on God's Word, singing worship, community with others, and confession.
These practices—first exemplified by Jesus and then adopted by the early church—allow us to bring ourselves before God every day to receive His grace and so be transformed into Jesus’ likeness by His Spirit.
Now, we have to remember that 'holy habits' are only ever a means to an end.
An athlete doesn't train for the sake of training, but so they can win; a musician doesn't practise for the sake of practising, but so they can master their instrument. Likewise, we don't adopt 'holy habits' for the sake of doing them, but so that we can meet with Jesus, become like Him and live as He did.
And just like any other habit, these 'holy habits' help us change through the grace and power of the Holy Spirit:
Practising silence and solitude makes us become more present people.
Practising fasting makes us become more content people.
Practising serving others makes us become more loving people.
By committing to these practices, we start to live our lives ‘as Jesus did’ (1 John 2:6).
You really can change
If you are in Jesus, you aren't powerless. You aren't meant to struggle with same sins until you die. You aren't meant to stay the same as you are today.
He has made and saved you for so much more than that.
Through His death, He has reconciled you to God.
Through His resurrection, He has destroyed the power of death over you.
Through His Spirit, He has given you the same power to win the fight against sin, and experience the fullness of His life.
The old has gone—you are a new person, with a new life, preparing to rule over a new world with Him when He returns. And when He does, you'll be just like Him, as you finally see Him face to face (1 John 3:2).
But until that day comes, live your life as He has shown you how to: through ordinary habits, practised in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Then see how He slowly changes you from the inside out to become like Him.
Love,
Theo