Mind the gap between your belief and your experience of God
‘And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.’ — Romans 5:5
‘Many of us struggle with a gap between what we believe about God and what we experience from God.’ — Steve Cuss
Have you ever found yourself stuck in the gap between what you believe and what you experience?
I have. Often, I still do.
When it comes to faith, I can believe the right things, say the right words, and appear in the right way—but inside, I know that I’m not experiencing it for myself.
I believe that God loves us (John 15:9). I believe that He wants His joy to be complete in us (John 15:11). I believe that He delights in speaking to us through His Word and by His Spirit (John 16:13).
But often, I find that I'm not actually experiencing His love, joy and voice speaking to me.
The gap between belief and experience is a hard place to be.
It’s hard when other people excitedly tell you about their latest encounters with God, when you feel like you haven’t for months.
It’s hard when you feel like Jesus seems to have a closer and more dynamic relationship with your friends than with you.
It’s hard when you find yourself wondering if you'll ever manage to get ‘being a Christian’ right.
And it’s scary to admit that we're in that gap, right?
It can feel like we’re hypocritical by being there: truly believing what the Bible reveals to us about God and how He feels about us and what He has blessed us with, but not actually enjoying the reality of it.
It can also feel like there’s no way out. No matter how much we try harder to close the gap by doing all the right things—immersing ourselves in the Scriptures, praying earnestly, caring for others, seeking opportunities to share the gospel—we still have trouble personally experiencing God’s presence.
If any of this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone in feeling these things. And take heart, because there is hope.
Bridging the gap
We’re unique and complex beings—and there are a whole host of psychological, sociological and theological reasons which people have highlighted that might contribute to this gap between belief and experience.
It’s all good stuff, but a lot of it is way over my head and way too detailed to unpack here (I can already hear your sigh of relief).
Instead, I want to encourage you with some ways I’ve found that help me bridge the gap between my belief in and experience of God.
Firstly, be honest with Him.
When you feel stuck in the gap, it doesn’t take long to feel stuck in shame. Shame makes us want to hide from God—so the way to counter it is to run to Him and be fully open with Him.
God is the One who knows you best and loves you most, no matter whether you can feel it or not. He’s never disappointed in you or distant from you. He lives inside you (Romans 8:10), and He’s always ready to listen as you pour out your heart to Him (Psalm 62:8).
So, be honest with Him. You don't need to pretend with God through polite, polished prayers. Tell Him how you actually feel, what you’re finding really hard, why it hurts.
I've found that whenever I’m honest with God, a weight lifts from me, and I actually feel closer to Him because of it.
Secondly, tell someone about it.
Feeling stuck in the gap can be a very lonely experience. In the past, I’ve felt as if I was the only one who was struggling with it, and that no one would really understand if I opened up to them about it.
But one day, someone in my family opened up to me about experiencing this gap, and it was a freeing moment for both of us, as we realised that we weren’t the only ones navigating it. We’re now able to pray for and encourage one another as we seek after God in our lives.
There’s always a temptation to hide the things we're struggling with or confused by away from others—even, tragically, within our churches. We don’t want to bother or burden others, so we pretend all is well.
But that’s just another way to cover ourselves with fig leaves in shame. It only leads us further away from God and those He has lovingly placed in our lives.
And finally, worship God in the way He made you to.
I’m currently reading a great book called Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas. In it, he argues that just as a doctor would never prescribe the same medicine to all the patients they see, God hasn’t given us a set programme to know Him by.
Of course, spending time in His Word, in prayer and in worship are really important practices that every follower of Jesus should implement in their lives. But the way in which we practice them can vary.
In the book, Thomas names nine different spiritual temperaments through which Christians naturally connect with God:
Naturalists: loving God outdoors.
Sensates: loving God with the senses.
Traditionalists: loving God through ritual and symbol.
Ascetics: loving God in solitude and simplicity.
Activists: loving God through confrontation.
Caregivers: loving God by loving others.
Enthusiasts: loving God with mystery and celebration.
Contemplatives: loving God through adoration.
Intellectuals: loving God with the mind.
These aren’t rigid boxes to limit ourselves to, nor do we have only one of them. They are simply a framework to help us identify how we naturally draw near to God.
Over the past few years, I’ve come to realise that I find it easiest to worship God when I'm outdoors (Naturalist), in solitude and simplicity (Ascetic) and through adoration (Contemplative).
You might be completely different, and that's completely okay.
God has made you, me and everyone uniquely, and that means we will naturally relate to Him in unique ways.
So, spend time discovering what that looks like for you.
Don't just settle for doing the same devotional rhythms every day for the rest of your life—try engaging with the Bible, prayer, worship and serving others in different ways, and notice what naturally and easily draws you into God’s presence.
And above all, hold on to the truth you believe in.
Whether you can feel it or not right now:
God's love for you will never change (Romans 8:38–39).
He is always with you (Matthew 28:20).
He is always listening to you (Psalm 66:17–20).
He is making you more like Himself (2 Corinthians 3:16–18).
He is praying on your behalf through His Spirit (Romans 8:26).
He has great things for you to do (Ephesians 2:10).
He will bring you home to enjoy being with Him forever (John 14:3).
Lord Jesus, help us to love you with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength—and help us to experience your love for us in all these places, too.
Love,
Theo
P.S. Here are some great resources if you want to explore this topic in a bit more depth:
Gary Thomas, Sacred Pathways: Discover Your Soul’s Path To God
Steve Cuss, The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space Between Our Beliefs And Experience Of God
Kyle Strobel and John Coe, When God Seems Distant: Surprising Ways God Deepens Our Faith and Draws Us Near
Steve Cuss, Being Human Podcast