Tundun

 

Hey Doubt

 

Hey Doubt,

 

I’d love to say it’s been a while but, even if that was the case, it’d be too soon since we last hung out.

We know each other too well. To the point where there are times where you seem like the only thing I’m certain of.

I was stupid to think that, when asked to write about you, you wouldn’t rear your ugly head and lace your words with that snake-like charm of yours – full of half truths for me to helplessly latch on to. “What makes you think something you could create is worth sharing?”  Yeah, I get that one a lot from you.

You make it hard to do anything.

You make it hard to create because, “I’ll never be able to make something like that person”.

You make it hard to trust people because, “they’re definitely going to let me down hard at some point”.

And you make it hard to love God because, “no one could truly love me if I can’t even love myself”.

Your lies seeping deeper and deeper into my mind and heart.

 

Today though, today I’m not giving into them. Today there is a deeper truth in me strong enough to face them.

 

No, I’ll never be able to create like that great person. Simply because I am not and never will be that person.

Yes, people will let me down just as I will let them down. But forgiveness in the face of our flaws creates a solid foundation for friendships.

And God is so much more than just anyone. He is more than your words whether they are whispered softly or harshly bellowed. More powerful than your charming spells. More truthful than the half truths you’ve plucked, twisted and thrown back into my brain.

I’m not condemning you though. In fact, a small dose of your presence could be a good thing. But I’ve known you too closely for too long. Your words imprinted in my mind.

I think it’s time I got to know someone else’s.

 

 

Never yours,

Tundun 

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DoubtTom Olyott